Who's Zeke?
by morgana07
Summary: 2-shot. Sam's questioning. Dean's out of options. When Sam learns the truth of who Zeke is, will his reaction be worse than even Dean feared & could it possibly cost Dean both his brother's trust as well as his life? *Questioning/confused/angry/limp!Sam & Worried/resigned/freaked out/big brother!Dean with an Ezekial cameo)* SPOILERS! Set after 09x04 Slumber Party*
1. Chapter 1

**Who's Zeke?**

**Summary:**_2-shot. Sam's questioning. Dean's out of options. When Sam learns the truth of who Zeke is, will his reaction be worse than even Dean feared & could it possibly cost Dean both his brother's trust as well as his life? *Questioning/confused/angry/limp!Sam & Worried/resigned/freaked out/big brother!Dean with an Ezekial cameo)* SPOILERS! Set after 09x04 Slumber Party*_

**Warnings: **_Language of course._

**Spoilers: **_Yes, there are spoilers for 09x04 Slumber Party so beware before reading. _

**Tags/Codas: **_While it's set after 09x04 Slumber Party I'm not sure I'd consider this a tag or a coda but it does happen after the episode ends._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything. This is written for fan enjoyment._

**Author Note: **_While working up a tag/coda for the episode this one clicked. This is just a possible way for what happens when Sam learns about Zeke and certainly how I hope he handles it…well, mostly how I hope he handles it…oh, just trust me._

**Chapter One**

"Who's Zeke?"

The question froze Dean Winchester much like it did the first time his brother had asked the day before. It also managed to freeze him now as he tried to decide which classic car in their newly found garage he wanted to play with first.

"What?" he was buying time and he knew it. He also knew Sam knew it because he felt the laser aim of Sam's best bitch face zero in on his back. "Sam, I told you that you…"

"I wasn't groggy before I stepped into your room and heard you say 'Zeke'," Sam Winchester crossed his arms over his chest like he'd learned to do when irritated with his brother.

Sam had been trying to dismiss the odd little things he'd been picking up or noticing since waking up after the Church but it was getting harder now; especially when his brother starts acting weird.

"The other day in the car while we were searching for Cas you were speaking to me like you weren't speaking to me. When I came up with the idea to use the map table as a way to track Angels you acted surprised that I'd come up with the idea or that someone else had," he could read his older brother like a book and even though Dean's back was still to him the younger man still caught the tension in his shoulders.

Despite growing up with one another Sam knew he wasn't the only one with tells or giveaways in his body language. Dean had certain ones that he usually only did when lying to Sam and only his brother knew him well enough to pick them out…when he was looking for them.

The roll of Dean's shoulders, the way he shifted on the balls of his feet or the way his hands fisted restlessly were all ways that Sam knew his brother wasn't being truthful with him and also hated it.

What finally gave it away to Sam though was the moment Dean reached for the amulet he longer had but had always gone to touch when lying to Sam got to be too much.

"Damn it, Dean. I thought you said no more lies," something inside Sam still wanted to believe in what his brother had said in that church but it was hard right now. "I thought we were getting back to being real brothers again. I thought you'd stopped lying to me. Was everything you said to me that night lies to just get me to stop the trials or…"

"_No_!" Dean snapped, dropping the tool in his hand to turn and face Sam; the pain reflected in those deep eyes still managing to cut him to the quick. "I meant every damn word I said to you there and that I've said to you since but…" he hesitated. "I need you to let this go for a little bit longer, Sammy. I need you to just trust me."

Trusting Dean was something that was ingrained in Sam. He'd grown up from infancy trusting the older brother that had raised him. It was that trust, the need to trust that made this moment so hard on Sam now.

"You know I trust you, Dean. You know I want to trust you now but…" Sam stared at his hands, the floor of the garage, anywhere so he wouldn't have to look into green eyes he knew would be hurt soon. "…I can't. I can't trust you on this if you aren't willing to tell me who Zeke is or what the hell is happening."

Avoiding Dean's gaze now more than anything, Sam's hand smoothed over the car that had always been his home. "You asked me why I can't or didn't consider the bunker as a home. A lot of it is because I honestly don't know how to have a home.

"I could probably come to think of this place as one if I was certain it wouldn't burn down or up with you in it but I…I also can't think of it as that so long as you're still lying to me, Dean," he paused when his own wet eyes caught sight of the familiar little green Army man stuck in the rear ashtray, feeling his chest tighten. "If you meant what you said about not putting anyone above me, if you meant what you said at all to me then tell me the goddamn truth. Who the hell is Zeke and what are you keeping from me?"

Dean had known from the moment he made the choice he had that if Sam ever got suspicious about the lies or if he ever began to feel Ezekiel's presence that he'd have to explain to him. He also knew once he did that he may very well lose the little brother he'd fought so hard to save.

"Sammy, I…" he had several excuses on the tip of tongue to possibly try to get Sam off of this subject but the set of his brother's jaw warned him that this would be on time only picking a bitter fight or telling him the truth would work.

"You told me that after I collapsed back at the church that I slept it off," there was something, little dreams or something that had always caused Sam to doubt that. "Something else happened, didn't it? This Zeke is a part of it. Who is he? Why would you call to him when you knew it was only us, Charlie and Dorothy in the bunker?" he asked, voice dropping to the soft almost plaintive one it could when he wanted his brother to trust him as much as he trusted Dean.

When Dean remained silent and slowly shifted his head away Sam struggled to keep the bitter emotions and hurt in even while a tear slid free. "Okay," he whispered, rubbing his now cold hands against his legs. "I trust you, Dean. I want this to work between us again like it did once but until you realize that you need to trust me, until you can be honest with me then…I can't be here."

This was almost as hard on Sam as the night he walked out to go to Stanford but he felt it had to be done and could only hope that perhaps Dean would realize he wasn't a child that needed protected from every single thing.

"I'm not walking out. I'm not walking out on you. I…I just need a few days away from here to think or…" he needed out now before he did lose it and embarrass them both.

"He's an Angel," Dean spoke before he could think it over. The panic of watching Sam walk out again, the risk of what was out there now too huge in his heart to consider lying anymore and would take the hate that would come.

Sam stopped only a few feet from his brother to turn with a look of plain confusion on his face. "An Angel?" he repeated warily and then frowned. "But…we're shielded. An Angel couldn't hear your call inside the bunker so why…"

"He's already inside the bunker, Sam," Dean sighed, accepting that he'd started this and he may as well finish it. "He's inside you."

In all his life Sam couldn't think of another thing, other than the first time Lucifer had appeared to him to announce that Sam was his chosen vessel, that had managed to shock him…until now.

"What? Inside me?" he stared at his brother, shock and confusion there. "That's not possible. I can't feel anything different. I feel fine and an Angel can't take control without permission."

"You gave him permission," Dean blew out a breath, wanting to step forward but knowing it best not to right then. "Sammy, I…I didn't know what else to do, man. You were dying. Death was right there and you were…I freaked out. It might've been wrong and you might hate me but I swear that Zeke is healing you."

"Healing me?" Sam felt hot, cold, sick and hurt all at the same time as he struggled to piece this together while staring at his brother's stricken face. "Healing me from what?" he demanded, voice getting louder in the garage and even before Sam realized it his fists were clenched in Dean's shirt as he shoved his brother back against the Impala. "What the hell happened? Why can't I remember and…why the hell would I ever give anything permission to possess me?"

That was the one sticking point that Dean knew his brother would clutch. Sam had been possessed too much to want anything or anyone, even an Angel looking to heal him, to even claim a little control of his mind and body.

He'd known that from the start but the risk of losing his brother had caused him to allow the possession to take place with the hope that he could protect Sam and keep him from learning of Ezekiel at least until he was healed enough the Angel could safely vacate.

"The Trials fried your insides, Sam. When you collapsed, you went into a coma that you weren't coming out of. I…I let Zeke take control and I…had him make certain you wouldn't remember the bad stuff until you're strong enough or healed enough that he can leave without you dying but…ugh!"

A fist to his jaw didn't surprise Dean. He knew he'd get that and probably worse the moment Sam learned the truth or at least as much of the truth as he was willing to tell.

His head snapped back from the force of the blow and he tasted blood but even that pain was minor compared to the pain he felt at the expression of betrayal and hurt Sam had right then.

"You had no right to give him…it permission to control me, Dean!" Sam yelled, fury bubbling to the surface but he fought the urge to hit his brother again. "It's my body! It was my life! It was my goddamn choice to live or die!

"You know how I feel about anything controlling me again! You know I wouldn't say yes willingly, that I'd rather be dead than to not be in control or…" the lack of trust, the feeling of hurt that Dean would do this to him was so huge that Sam knew he had to put some distance between them before he said or did something that they would never recover from. "I…"

"Sam, wait," Dean started to reach out to touch his brother, to just get a hold of his arm but felt his head snap back again and this time saw stars from the fist in his face. "Sammy…"

Trembling now, Sam stumbled back. He wasn't certain if the burning pain was from whatever wounds he was supposed to have or the tightening in his chest as he fought the tears that wanted to come and also words that his inner self struggled to bury.

"Don't come near me right now, Dean," he warned, raising his hands and backing away. "I…I hate you for this."

A dead silence filled the garage as those words settled between them. Words that both brothers realized had never been spoken before.

Sam wanted to take them back. He wanted to not have said those words that made Dean's green eyes widen in shock and hurt before a look of sadness filled them but right then there was nothing Sam could do but turn and backtrack his way out of the garage; away from Dean and the words he whispered once he was alone.

"I know you do, Sammy. I hate me too," Dean slid down the side of the car to lower his head into his hands and mourn the loss of the last of his family.

By the time he reached his room Sam was breathing so hard he thought he'd pass out from hyperventilating. He was hurt, angry, confused and scared. He knew deep down why his brother had probably done what he had but it still hurt that…

A burst of pain shot through his head and it took Sam's strength to not fall to the floor. He nearly called out to Dean before remembering the garage was too far away to be heard and by saying he hated him any chance of his brother following him had been destroyed.

"What?" he gasped out when the pain hit again and this time Sam did shout for his brother, be it on instinct or confused fear that perhaps by learning of his hidden passenger something had just gone very wrong. "No…I… this is…Dean…"

The fear of dying was huge despite what he'd just said about choices but for Sam it was more a sadness that he might be dying of whatever was wrong with him while his brother still believed he had meant the hurtful words but he was powerless to stop the blackening descent as something else seemed to call to him. 'Dean…sorry,' were his last thoughts before blackness hit.

Dean wasn't sure what made him risk Sam's anger and hate so soon but he supposed if they were going to fight or if Sam was going to hate him then he'd hate him for everything, including the bits of the story that Dean had left out on purpose.

"Sam?" he hesitated to knock and frowned as the door he expected to find locked pushed open. His next thoughts fled as he bolted into the room to drop next to where his brother laid still on the floor. "Sammy!"

Sam's face was white, his lips a sickly blue while his eyes were open but staring blankly while his body shook with hard little tremors.

"No, not like this," Dean knew that Zeke had warned that Sam could expel him but had prayed his brother wouldn't do that or that the damn Angel would try to hold on until he got a handle on the situation. "Damn it, Sammy. Don't you do this and damn it, Zeke! Don't you let him die! Sammy!"

**TBC**

**A/NII: **_Just remember, I don't do death fics so I will fix this. Second and final chapter should be done today._


	2. Chapter 2

**Who's Zeke?**

**Chapter Two**

Throbbing burning pain rushing through his veins, a freight train sound in his ears and Sam Winchester jerked his eyes open with a gasp.

"What the hell?" he stared around him as if in shock but had no trouble recognizing the worn carpeting and curtains in the library where he'd spent most of his time whenever he and his brother visited Bobby Singer's house.

Hesitantly touching the desk to feel it solid under his fingers caused Sam to frown. He remembered the fight with Dean. He remembered the hurt and betrayal he felt over his brother's decision to allow an Angel to possess him and then lie to him about it.

He also recalled the fear he'd felt when the pain hit and the thoughts of his brother as Sam felt himself fall, knowing he was probably dying.

"Bobby place is…my Heaven?" he wasn't sure to find that odd or comforting.

"No, but it is a safe neutral spot in your mind so we can talk."

The sudden voice had Sam whirling into a defensive stance but he paused when he found the man who had spoken.

He seemed to be a bit taller than 6' with short hair, a square jaw and wearing jeans, a t-shirt and a zipped up hoodie. His voice was quiet with a slight accent that Sam couldn't place.

"Who…are you?" the hunter demanded warily even though he didn't get a sense of evil or danger from the stranger who was watching him curiously.

"I believe your brother prefers to call me…Zeke," the man replied with a tiny smile, cocking his head as if examining Sam's reaction. "My name is Ezekiel, Sam."

The name rang a bell from when Sam first dug into Angel lore years ago but he didn't pay attention to those details since he'd learned since then that most of what legend and lore had on Angels were false.

As he looked at the Angel who he'd just realized he'd been sharing headspace with Sam silently ran the name over his tongue and figured he knew why Dean had just decided to shorten the name.

"We're inside my head," that was a little weird but then Sam guessed it wasn't any weirder than realizing he was speaking to an Angel inside his own head, an Angel that he'd never asked for.

"You did give permission, Sam," Ezekiel spoke as he easily read the thoughts of his host but made no move to get closer.

"Dean gave you permission," Sam shot back, still bitter and hurt. "I…"

"I'm afraid that you did say yes…even though you were saying yes to surviving, to remaining with Dean I had to take some leeway to use that as your permission to enter your body in order to save you," Ezekiel replied calmly.

The Angel had felt and heard the fight between the Winchesters. He'd also heard Dean's answers and knew the older one had left out things from the story that were important or at least they would be to Sam if his opinion of the young man held true.

"It is true that now that you know the truth that you can expel me but I hope you will listen to me first before you choose to do so because if you expel me now we will both die," he began grimly, sitting down on the old seat under the window while Sam merely leaned against the desk. "You know only part of the story, Sam."

"I know that something happened to me that my brother made you make me forget after he gave permission or tricked me into giving it," Sam's fists clenched around the desk, hurt so much that Dean would betrayal his trust after all the damn words of brotherhood and bonds and…"

"It was your brother's love for you that caused Dean to make the choice and deal that he did, Sam," Ezekiel remarked, a frown marring the image of his original vessel's body.

He had chosen to use an image of that body rather than approach Sam using his own form because he had a hunch the young hunter would not have responded to staring into his own face for this discussion.

"Dean didn't have the…deal?" it was the last word that slammed into Sam, making his eyes zero in on the Angel's face. "What deal? What happened and what…did Dean do to save me?"

Ezekiel had always known of the Winchesters. He, like many of his kind, had heard the stories about both brothers. It had only been when he met Dean, when he entered Sam to feel the depth of the younger man's heart and scarred soul that he'd understood that most of what Heaven had been told about Sam and Dean were wrong.

Heaven had always told that the Winchesters were weak. That their emotions for one another made them east to manipulate and while Ezekiel could see how others could use that to hurt the brothers he was the one who also realized it was these emotions, this bond Dean and Sam had, that gave them their greatest strength.

Of course he also realized the manipulation of both Heaven and Hell had made it hard for Sam to understand his brother's reasons at times.

"The trials had damaged you in ways that no one, no Angel or demon, could heal easily, Sam. I'm not even certain with the amount of damage inflicted upon you if even an Archangel could have healed you without being drained," Ezekiel began grimly, hating to be the one to impart this knowledge on the young human. "I've seen in your thoughts, as well as heard Dean's, about what you were doing and…I fear it was all in error."

"No, if he hadn't stopped me the gates of Hell would've closed," Sam argued, needing to believe that everything he'd sacrificed hadn't been lies.

Ezekiel's eyes were sad as he looked into Sam's heart and felt the need to do good, to make up for things he still blamed himself for. "Sam, if you had completed that trial it not only would've killed you but it wouldn't have closed Hell. It would have dissolved the very gates and allowed every demon and dark spirit residing there, in all the realms of Hell, to pour free.

"Since I have been in your mind to see your memories I now understand what you and Dean were trying to do and why. Metatron was a brilliant scribe once but when he became bitter he not only wanted to hurt Heaven, as he clearly has done, but also the world of humans.

"He, like many others, believed it was our Father's creation of humans that began the downfall in Heaven and when he devised his plan to eventually destroy Heaven he also planted the seed that he believed would bring ruin to Earth," the angel was grim, watching Sam's face as he took all this in.

"Metatron didn't care who began or completed the Trials but because it was you, the former vessel of Lucifer and the man who trapped two of the most powerful Archangels created inside Lucifer's Cage…it was all the better for him," Ezekiel sighed sadly. "You were meant to die in the third Trial, Sam…and Dean would have died soon after that."

Sam was staring hard as if trying to decide if he should believe the Angel or not. He had learned early on that Angels were nothing like Pastor Jim had taught him they were but Sam also liked to think his brother had taught him to judge and he didn't sense any deception.

"Dean's right," he decided with a sigh. "Angels are dicks."

The word wasn't unfamiliar to Ezekiel and he could often agree with it since he'd felt like that for his fellow Angels a few times over his long existence. "When you stopped the Trials, your body went into shutdown to try to combat the radical changes it had undergone but…you were hurt too badly and were dying."

"I should've died years ago but Dean sold his soul for me," Sam still felt the guilt for that one because it had been that decision that had begun his brother's dark descent from happy go lucky ladies' man to grim and moody hunter. "What did he do this time?" he asked quietly; fear for Dean a lot stronger than even his fear of dying. "He didn't say anything about deals or…"

"He also didn't tell you that he prayed for you," Ezekiel thought he knew why Dean had kept this information to himself but since he was now fighting for both his continued existence and Sam's, the Angel thought he could afford to take a few chances. "He didn't mention that he sent an open prayer to any Angel that if they could help you then he would owe them a favor."

Sam's eyes widened as he considered this. He figured he could count on the fingers of one hand the times his older brother had prayed.

Out of the two of them it had always been Sam who had listened to Pastor Jim or who believed in the good of Heaven while Dean had always been the more jaded one…and that was before they learned exactly how wrong the stories of Heaven had been.

Making deals with demons never ended well for them and Sam feared what promising to owe an Angel a favor might entail.

"Dean also hasn't told you that he was attacked three times in the hospital or how he was beat so badly that I feared he would follow you into the abyss of death," Ezekiel stood slowly to approach Sam now but still made certain the hunter knew he was not a threat. "He had warded the hospital room against Angels. I was hurt during the fall and I was not aware of how those sigils would weaken me further.

"I was unable to heal you like I should've been able to. I told your brother of the risky chance I could suggest that would not only heal you but also myself," he watched the way Sam's face shifted with emotions as he went on grimly. "I could heal you from the inside and by keeping to the fringes of your subconscious be hidden from your knowledge.

"Dean did not to allow this. He knew how you felt about losing control of your mind and body after what Lucifer did but when I showed him how far gone you were, how Death himself had come to claim you it frightened your brother and…he agreed to let me try," Ezekiel closed his eyes to allow those memories to filter in slowly. "Dean meant the words he spoke to you in your mind, Sam. When he said that there would be no him without you he meant that and I hope you can understand why he allowed this to happen."

Sam swallowed, gritting his teeth as he was swamped by the memories of those hours he'd lost. He'd been willing to die, to cross over even though he'd been scared of leaving his brother behind.

He was tired of the pain, the constant fighting, the failing and of never knowing when he'd be left behind again so he'd chosen death. Though when it came to choosing the peace of death and the need to believe in Dean, to be with him and to stay with him he'd said yes to staying with his brother…he'd said yes…

"Was it Dean I saw or was it you?" he demanded as he could recall the emotions he'd felt and seen in Dean's eyes in that cabin as his brother begged him to fight to live. He needed to believe now that it had been Dean.

"It was Dean you spoke to. It was Dean that shared emotions and feelings I've come to understand are not easy for him to express because he didn't want to lose you," Ezekiel assured him, coughing as he added. "It was when you said yes that I stepped in.

"It was the only way I could gain entrance, Sam. Dean didn't like it and he also didn't like lying to you about my act but as I told him if you knew about me you could expel me and…you are still too hurt to survive long without me spirit healing you," the Angel knew this was the tricky part.

He understood that he'd gained control through less than honest means and it was Sam's choice if he no longer wanted him but he could only hope the younger man's feelings were true. "If I leave your body you will die within five hours. Even now your body is shutting down…and Dean is calling us both some interesting names but…he does not cry often, does he?"

"I don't want to die but I also don't like knowing I have an Angel living inside me and…what? Dean doesn't cry. Dean…Dean's with me?" he was still processing the thought of his no chick flick moments brother shedding tears when he realized the angel seemed to think his brother was with him. "I said I hated him. He wouldn't…"

"He hates himself more than you could hate him, Sam," Ezekiel remarked seriously. "It hurt Dean more than you can understand right now to lie to you over this. He has wanted to tell you but…it was my decision that you not know and it was my choice to remove the memories that would cause you to question things.

"Dean was willing and is willing to do whatever it takes for you. That includes allowing an act that he knew would cause you to hate him over. It is your choice now, Sam," he stood in front of the human to see the indecision in his eyes. "You can choose to expel me and die or you can allow me to remain, to allow me to heal and protect you and once you have been healed sufficiently I will withdraw."

It often gave Sam a headache listening to angel speak since he was more used to Dean's brusque wording but he understood enough to know if he chose to force the angel out that he would die.

They had fallen angels, some gathering under one that gave Sam worse feelings than even Zachariah, Castiel was a human, Charlie was now in Oz, Crowley was in their basement and Kevin was barely holding it together.

If he died, if he left all of that would be dropped on Dean's shoulders and his big brother's shoulders had been carrying enough of a load since he was four years old.

"You said you protect me," Sam lifted his eyes to meet the gaze of the Angel. "Do you also protect my brother?"

"If and when I can," Ezekiel nodded. "I am still healing so I do not have a lot of strength but…I will protect you both when need be, especially since Abbadon is still out there and very interested in Dean."

If nothing else had, that last comment would've had his attention. "Abbadon? What the hell's her interest in Dean?" Sam demanded, not caring for the unspoken implication.

"She's a demon so of course demons are always looking for stronger vessels but…" Ezekiel paused to decide on a way to explain this next part in a way that the mortal would understand. "Abbadon is more interested in Dean's body for another reason. She finds him attractive and wishes to…"

"No, no way," Sam refused flat out even the possible thought of the red haired demon Knight of Hell laying her hands on his brother. "Can you protect him from her if we face her again?" he wanted to know.

Ezekiel was aware that using Sam's feelings for his brother was a bit low and much like it was using Dean's for Sam earlier but he was fighting not only for his own life but also to keep the Winchesters alive and so decided not to let the human feeling of guilt plague him too much.

"Once I am stronger I will have a better chance should she decide to attack him but right now…I can offer some protection," he admitted, holding his breath as Sam stood to walk around the room in contemplation. "I lost a good deal of the power I'd gained back by brining your friend Charlie back from the dead after she was hit by that witch protecting Dean."

So that explained the slight panic Sam had heard in his brother's voice before he entered Dean's room yesterday, when he'd heard the name Zeke for the first time.

He and Dean had practically adopted the fiery girl into their lives and so Dean would've felt responsible for her much like he did Sam.

Sam had also seen the brief look of fear on Dean's face when the witch had gotten behind him and rather than shoot with the possible risk of hitting Sam his brother had used a more physical means to try to free him…not that it worked considering things but then Sam understood his brother's first instinct was always to help.

Looking over his shoulder, he chewed his lip. "How…how does this thing work?" he asked, feeling weird about an Angel being inside him.

"Unlike a true vessel in which I would displace your core self, I remain on the fringe of your subconscious. I can see and hear what's happening around you but you remain in control at all times…except for if I need to speak to your brother or he calls on me," Ezekiel explained with a motion of his hand, a habit he'd been picking up from the mortals. "I only wish to heal you, Sam. If I can help in the meantime, or protect you both, then I will also do that but now you must choose."

"If I agree to let you stay, you've got to swear to me that you will protect my brother from whatever comes as much as you would me and the moment I'm healed enough, you take a hike," Sam told him seriously, taking a deep breath as he made his choice. "Also, whatever it is you're planning on asking Dean for in return for saving me…it involves me or you don't get him. I will not lose my brother."

Ezekiel smiled, pleased that the loyalty still remained strong between these two brothers and would do his best to honor that. "As you wish," he nodded, holding out a hand with the palm facing up. "Dean's now threatening to call a state. I think he's tired."

Frowning, it took Sam a second to understand and then he laughed. "No, well yeah, he probably is but Missouri's also a person and if he's threatening to call her then he's upset," he looked at the hand a final time before slowly placing his over it. "Don't screw us over, Ezekiel. Give me the hope that at least one Angel can be like I grew up believing."

"James Murphy was a good man and taught you well, Sam. I will not 'screw' you or Dean over," he promised, allowing his waning power to surface. "Reach for your brother, Sam."

"Sammy! C'mon, dude…don't do to this me. You can hate me or whatever the hell you want but…just don't give up," Dean had managed to get Sam up from the floor to the bed, which in his opinion was probably as hard as the damn floor.

According to his watch Sam had been unconscious for going on fifteen minutes and while his brother was still breathing Dean was losing hope.

Gripping one of Sam's hands tightly, he ignored how much his fingers were shaking when they carded back through soft dark hair. "Sammy…I…"

Sam's body gave a sudden jerk and then with a harsh gasp as air seemed to refill his lungs the younger man's eyes opened, immediately locking onto the worried ones of his brother.

Time seemed to stand still as the brothers just looked at one another and then within a blink of an eye Dean had to shift in order to handle the arm full of little brother he found himself with.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked, voice deeper than usual but not bothering to bury the concern he'd felt for Sam or how the thought of losing him hurt. "Sammy? Talk to me, dude."

"I'm sorry I said I hated you," Sam spoke after several minutes of regaining his breath, aware that he was clinging to his brother much like he had as a child but not giving a damn right then. "I…I don't hate you, Dean."

Allowing Sam to hold on until he felt the tremors easing away, Dean stayed still to just soothe his brother as best as he could right then. "I knew you'd be angry, Sam. Is he…I mean did you…"

"I let him stay," Sam murmured, pulling back to slump on the pillows; chest and body aching but feeling some of it going away. "I'm still not fully sure I like knowing there's an Angel living inside me but…I know why you did it and…I suppose if it would've been you I would've made the same call."

Sam knew he would because he'd been willing to do anything possible several times if it meant saving or finding his brother.

"If I couldn't helped you any other way I would've, Sammy," Dean assured him, not moving from the side of the bed and unaware of when Sam's hand gripped his wrist just to maintain some type of contact between them. "I don't blame you if you do hate me because I hate myself for lying to you but…"

"Just promise me that you'll try to trust me more and that you'll let me help you like you help me all the time?" Sam asked, tired now and understanding that his actions had forced the Angel to use power neither of them had to spare.

"I do trust you, little brother and…I'll try," Dean sighed, eyes sharp for signs of pain or anything out of the ordinary as Sam slowly settled back. "I would've told you as soon as I thought you were strong enough."

"I know," Sam yawned, watching his brother from under half closed lashes to take in the worry and tightness in his face. "Dean, I know you will always be my big brother and I love you for that but…I'm not twelve or even twenty-two anymore. You need to let me stand and fall on my own."

Smoothing a hand back through hair that he'd given up bitching was too long, Dean knew this was true but he also knew he wasn't built that way. "You will always be twelve to me, Sammy," he replied but waved a hand at the mild bitch face. "I know what you mean and I will try but…you need to understand that so long as I'm breathing I will always put you in front of everything. That includes my life."

Opening one eye to look at Dean, Sam bit his lip but slowly nodded. "Me too," he murmured, accepting that while perhaps having an Angel inside him wasn't his ideal choice it might give him an edge if it came down to protecting his brother from Abbadon or even whatever else they may face. "So…Zeke?"

"I can't call him by name half the time since I can't pronounce it usually," Dean snorted, nudging Sam over a little so he could sit beside him. "He's not quite as stiff as Cas and does come in handy but I swear as soon as you're good to go then he's gone."

"Okay," Sam wondered if it would be that simple but chose right then to let it go. "I was wrong though," he murmured, going on. "I was wrong about this not being home."

"Oh?" Dean had wanted this place to be the home his brother had never had but wasn't sure how to make it such when Sam didn't feel the same toward it. "What changed your mind?"

"Home is where you are," Sam shrugged as he quickly fell to sleep, feeling the hand in his hair still for a moment before beginning to move again. "Just like the Impala's home. My home is wherever you are so I guess this is home."

Of all the things he could expect to hear that hadn't been it and while it pushed the edge of his no chick moments rule Dean was willing to let it because it had been a long time since he'd heard actual hope in Sam's voice.

"It's gonna be good, Sammy," he promised and just hoped he could keep that one. "It's all going to be good and…Zeke, don't let me down."

Dean stayed sitting beside his brother as Sam slept. He would give his brother all the time he needed to understand and accept that this place wasn't going to crash and burn and that Dean wouldn't burn with it but the one thing he did plan on starting on Sam over was to at least get a decent bed that didn't feel like a goddamn brick.

"Memory foam, little brother, it's the best invention since porn," he murmured, relaxing against the headboard since he wasn't leaving Sam until his brother woke up to be sure he and Zeke were alright…then he'd get Sam to help him clean up the damn mess that witch made in his kitchen. "I hate witches."

**The End**

**A/N: **_Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed my first take on what may happen, what I hope happens as far as Sam's reaction, etc. Yeah, I know it won't be nowhere close to this since the boys can't just fight and accept in one episode._

_Look me up on Facebook under morgana07 for chats, updates, questions, or anything else._


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